So it seems like ill let Chris be the person who rants on things, and Ill write about stuff that will offend people in a different way. Chris can offend the Owl City lovers, and Ill offend everyone else (including myself). Maybe ill lighten up sometime and write something light hearted, until then the balls in your court.
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So I've been noticing that I'm a terrible, awful, horrible, no-good, very bad person. Those of you who have known me long enough have probably noticed that about me. And if you're honest you probably noticed this about yourself too.
Offended yet?
I am.
So as I see myself sin every hour of every day, I am humbled by the fact that my attempts at behavior modification does nothing short of boost my ego and make me self-righteous for a little bit. Even the things I do "right" are flawed by a inherent flaw in all of us. We're more jacked up than we can possibly imagine.
We worship ourselves.
What makes Me comfortable?
What can I get out of this?
I will be the first to admit that I can not fix myself completely. In fact if I were in control, if I had my way, I would really screw every thing up.
Do you know what gives me hope? David, that old King guy from the Bible. If you haven't heard the story before you get a little play by play. Its from 2 Samuel and this is the story of a man described by the Bible as "a man after God's own heart"!
So David, a king, sees a married woman bathing and has sex with her. He gets her pregnant and then has her husband murdered. He gets called out on it by an old guy named Nathan and then he realizes that he sucks at life. Its been veggie tale'd (only using rubber ducks instead of women).
Sex, lies, and murder.
Sound familiar?
The Bible isn't a bunch of kids stories.
David follows up with a beautiful prayer. Psalm 51
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
What gives me hope is that this was "A Man After God's Own Heart". Thats a statement to wrestle with after hearing what this guys done. This prayer hits me hard. He know that his heart is in every way screwed up (just like me), and he prayed "God, give me a new heart!" He cannot do it himself. He knows that he cant fix himself. Thats the beauty of the Gospel, we cant save/fix/help ourselves. We can change our behavior but all we do is shift our hearts to worship ourselves some other way. For example, we can do all the right things but still be self-righteous a-holes. Im sure you've met these people. And that you and I have are those people too.
Thats why Im a Christian. Because I suck at life, I cant fix myself and I need someone else to do it. That what makes the Cross both the ugliest thing in human history and the most beautiful.
I think I might have bitten off more than I can chew but maybe thats enough to for me to think about. I know its weird but I write to myself for myself. Maybe it helps my friends but I have to preach to myself everyday, because Im more jacked up than I can imagine, but Gods grace is more powerful than I can fathom.
Thoughts?
Blake
I hope I haven't pissed too many people, off or been too churchy. Sorry If I have, and I hope that youll keep reading if only to listen to Chris. He's more entertaining anyway.
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